Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
