dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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