Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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