Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
