??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize