I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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