i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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