i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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