i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
