I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
