hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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