he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize