I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
