Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
