You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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