I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
