You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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