why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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