I'm drive I can fine osifer
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
