I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
