I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
