he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
