yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
