Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

hotel room ftw

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(630): View more from Illinois

i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can

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(618): View more from Illinois

We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.

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(425): View more from Washington

I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.

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(804): View more from Virginia

i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks

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(614): View more from Ohio

My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous

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(404): View more from Georgia

It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going

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