What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
