I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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