I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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