Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
