sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
