Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
