So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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