super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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