i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
