Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
