I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
smell my finger.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
