I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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