she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
