You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
