arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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