I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
