How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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