you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
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