i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
