**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
