ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize