you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
