Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
