Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
