haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
