she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
