getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
