The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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