so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
