Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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