Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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