I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize