and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
